Wednesday, December 7, 2011

Finding your path

Like most pagans that live on the interwebs, my devotion to reading and updating myself on the thoughts and feelings of others is almost an obsession. Books are also another way for another person to put out their thoughts on the matter of magic and relay that information to the curious. As a solitary witch, though, a grain of salt is added to every suggestion.
After reading countless magic books, although I admit that I have trouble even glancing through any pagan related books that claim to have love spells in them, and discussions with fellow witches, my path on this spiritual journey has developed substantially in the past few years. Prior to sitting my butt down and completing the research needed to develop a faith that is all my own, my rituals and spells were what had worked for other people. One day after finishing a ritual, I plopped myself down on the floor and felt rather...unfulfilled. The beginning of my development occurred shortly after this. With the few dollars in my pocket and a desire to learn, to have my rituals be so much more than they had been at that point, I spent the last of my money on books at a local used book store. If you can't manage to buy books (Times are tough.) libraries are amazing resources as well. During my development time, my reading list was exceptionally long. There were books that caught my fancy, Scott Cunningham and Starhawk were a few of my favorites, but there were also terrible books that warranted the term "fluff pieces". While everyone is entitled to their own faith, love spells and magic through inheritance only manages to annoy me rather than inspire me. While I read through numerous books, my work on my Book of Shadows (To take a look at my BoS, click here!) started to payoff. My first real accomplishment was completing the entire Rituals sections. Nothing is more difficult than pouring your heart into the creation of a ritual and then hating everything about it, but with dedication and some prodding from my husband my rituals were finally completed. Recently, after eight hours of writing and designing, the completion of the reference section was finally finished.
Imagine you have a to-do list and imagine what it feels like to scratch off some of the biggest, most important things. That's how I felt after the reference section was completed.
Each step in dedicating yourself to the craft is in of itself a little initiation. Whether it's compiling your tools (I promise to post pictures of mine soon enough), creating your Book of Shadows, or just doing a ritual or spell. Each step feels like a giant accomplishment. Like I should get an award, but as a solitary. There aren't any awards.

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